That pure Cane Spirit since 1848.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

How times change.

How it is today:

G.B: Oh hello, is that Israel? Oh good, so glad we caught you. Listen, we’ve got some nationals in Lebanon just now that want to come home.

Israel : So?

G.B. : Only you’ve blown up the airport, the bridges, and anything moving on the roads, so we’ll have to send some ships to take them off.

Israel : And?

G.B. : Well, sorry to ask, but can we come on Tuesday? Will that be convenient? Can we have a window?

Israel : (sigh) Yeah, OK, but make it snappy, we’re blowing up a dairy later on Tuesday.

G.B. : Thank you so much, you’re too kind.

How it SHOULD be.

G.B. : Is that Israel? Good. Listen up. The Royal Navy will be arriving in Beirut to take off our nationals. If you try and blockade the port with gunboats, fly near us in your second hand American fighters, hinder, obstruct or even look at us in a funny way, we will blow you and anyone else out the sky/water.

The Royal Navy is there to make its own windows. Everyone else should get the hell out the way. Any fire, even accidental friendly fire from short-sighted incompetent American pilots should be returned with total lethal force. They’d soon get their Godamned eyes tested.
And another thing, when we embark our nationals, there should be a band on deck playing Hearts of Oak and Rule Britannia. We shouldn't slink off like theives being kicked out the country

No comments: