That pure Cane Spirit since 1848.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

So farewell then…

It’s been a funny old year. Bit too bloody funny if you ask me. Still, horizons broadened, no arrests, met Boyo: Yeah, all things considered I’d say it was on the credit side.
And, there was the odd touch of genius about the place.

Which was nice.

Here’s one here;

Why does everyone have to bang on about sex the whole time? There are other things, you know, and I don't mean food or sums.
Here is a list of other things:
The M25 upgrade

Co-ordinated half-point rate cuts
The Clone Trooper Helmet

Salford Quays
Noble rot
Jonathan Kelsey for Mulberry

Broviac catheters
Arnold Palmer

Ambre Solaire
The Hillman Husky

Oh, before I forget, If God spares me, I SHALL. Every single day.

See you all in 2009.

Monday, December 29, 2008

2009 Resolutions

As God is my witness,

I will follow my own script.
I will visit Las Vegas for the first time
I will go back to New York
I will use my spectacles to read the Indie on Saturday and the Observer on Sunday
I will accept my weird eating habits
I will buy wonderful bread and make sandwiches
I will watch TV under a blanket
I will eat olives and smoked salmon and blinis
I will visit the pub on Saturdays for two drinks max then return for a nap at four
I will have just one glass of wine on Sunday until I have helped with dinner
I will remain kosher
I will be charitable
I will be faithful
I will be honourable
I will write about Islamist terror cells in Clackmannanshire
I will never compromise
I will tell the world about Dr Maroon
I will be me

Friday, December 12, 2008

Have arrived Windhoek 1300 hrs today.
No jetlag just knackered.
Had two bloody marys on flight from Johannesburg [sp?] and fell down stairs gratefully onto Namibian soil.
Locals thought I was so pleased to be back that I was kissing tarmac just like JPII. They weren't far wrong
Luckily it is full summer here (42 Celcius) so have sweated it out in 20 minutes and am now ready to hit the town. No sign of any cholera YET.
Cannot embed song (shitey bloody hotel computers) so will type out link below.

Back soon.

Monday, December 01, 2008

See when I'm pissed? I do love led Zepplin. They've got sumpfing, god knows what it is, but it's summpfinn.
This is for you because I love you all so much. It's almost poetry. It isn't, but it almost is. Whatever it is, it has balls, and that is what matters at the end of things, it has balls and gumption and they were a fantastic band. They were the very best of bands.

If the sun refused to shine etc.