That pure Cane Spirit since 1848.

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Three nights in another town.




Jimmy Page kept a better hotel room. I was not embarrassed by the premium TV channels on the bill but £14.40 extra for laundering the bed linen was a first. Just desperate. Desperate.

I questioned everything on the bill of course, (Scrooge) big mistake. They would not listen to me as I tried to explain that the stains were chocolate. Just that. Chocolate: and how I had obviously fallen asleep on a Fry’s Chocolate Cream.

I was mortified, just mortified.

I don’t think they approved of my torn carrier bag of munchies on the second night either. A trail of Monster Munch and Wotsits across the lobby floor will exasperate the most taciturn of concierges. I had an excuse; before leaving Perthshire I had been given some top notch pollen to try out and had developed an insatiable appetite for corn based snacks at around 4 am.

Le weekend had gone so well up till then: the very best of company (a truly magnificent woman) copious strong drinks and a benign city eager to welcome us.

What day is it now? Thursday, right? Jesus. 72 hours.

72 hours and that’s me just coming round, that is to say, able to face a hair of the dog.

Where was I? Why, Heaven of course: dolts!

I promise to explain.


12 comments:

xerxes said...

Fry's? _Not_ a gentlemanly fault.

Dr Maroon said...

Absolument!

Ms Scarlet said...

You've been tagged n'all Inksy! Oh, have a Bailey's and a flake, suck it off some warm breasts and be done with it...
I'm off.....it's late...don't forget your tags.
Sx

Dr Maroon said...

Only the crumbliest flakiest chocolate,
tastes like chocolate never tasted before...
Ax

Kim Ayres said...

I take it you had the wrappers to prove your innocence?

Pat said...

I believe some hotels actually leave a chocolate on the pillow. Utter madness! I feel for you.

Daphne Wayne-Bough said...

You're not the 'swerving old inebriate' mentioned by Mrs Pouncer? Serves you right.

Dr Maroon said...

Kim! Of course! Why did I not think of that?

They were ahead of us Pat. The minty chocolates were on a side table.

Dr Maroon said...

Daphne, as you know I am incautious to my bones yet I would always preserve the confidence of others. Did she say swerving?
That is so true. How magnificent.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Hello Achilles.
How are you?

Anonymous said...

Yes! Explain! You have promised!

Glad to hear you had a luvverly weekend, The Doc.

Pat said...

I got that Luos and deleted it as spam.