That pure Cane Spirit since 1848.

Monday, March 23, 2009



Young woman dies of cancer convinced Rio de Janeiro was a footballer.

Gordon Brown. What the hell was he thinking with his troublesome dirge for poor Jade? He was totally silent about Ali Bongo.

Heston Fuckwit. Peels frogs, (they were quite furious), persuades them up a pig’s back passage then detonates the lot in Cilla Black’s face.

President Obama. Comfy on the couch wasn't he, making remarks about the special Olympics. I didn’t see the suitcase with the nuclear button. He is not a real president, he is a tribute president.


36 comments:

Mrs Pouncer said...

Yes, I noticed Mr Brown's omission. I tuned into PMQ quite deliberately on 8 March, thinking it would be suspended as a mark of respect to the old thaumaturge. Nothing. I am afraid it is a sign of the times, Maroon.

voice of reason said...

Mrs Poncer must be living in a fools parradise if she thinks Gorden Brown is interested in respecting the deceased. Joan Turner died last week probably the finest and most dedicated dipsomanaic this country has ever produced and nothing from Mr Brown or the weary willies of the Labour party. They are all too busy claiming thousands of taxpayers pounds for their old mums to live in West Harrow unmolessted.

Noah_Tosser said...

Cilla Black is minted.

Miss A Propriation said...

That employment secretary is at it.

Mrs Pouncer said...

It is virtually impossible to be unmolested in West Harrow, Voiceof. I should know.

Cilla Black is minted through sheer hard work and deployment of that sawing voice of hers. Sorry, soaring voice of hers. No, actually, sawing.

Mrs Pouncer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mrs Pouncer said...

Comment deleted? And so early? You haven't started on the I***h again, have you? For Chrissakes leave them alone.

scarlet-blue said...

Blimey, Ali Bongo was the inspiration behind David Renwick's character, Jonathan Creek.
Sx

Gorilla Bananas said...

Bongo was a genius. One of my readers recently told me of how he once filled-in for a fortune teller, and was so good that even he began to believe in his supernatural powers.

problemchildbride said...

Ali Bongo is dead. A light winks out from the world in a puff of silks and dove-feathers. Man.

Mrs Pouncer said...

GB, do you really think he did? Like internationally-renowned spoonbender U. Geller does? Surely not. Ali Bongo was a sumptuous old cynic at the best of times.

inkspot said...

Well who was Rio de Janeiro then?

Dr Maroon said...

Rio de Janeiro discovered the river plate. Inky any fule kno

PCB ye-es. Is it peat cutting time in the Isles yet, Sam? The clegs and the glaur and the backache? Ah, the sweet evengloam of the Isles. Where only the drug squad seem to hurry...

God help us Mr Gorilla Bananas. The nation needs him now. Where have all the giants gone?

Scarls; Johnathon Creek. What's his middle name? Yep, that's it.
Here, drink this and calm down to a frenzy.
Ax

Dr Maroon said...

Uri Geller, Clarissa, has been scientifically tested under laboratory conditions and is a Friend of Israel. That is enough for me thank you.

Dr Maroon said...

Voice of reason, if you miscall Clarissa as Mrs "Poncer" again, I shall kick your fucking head in.

Sarah said...

i thought europeans were finally fucking happy that the USA elected someone like obama..

i can say with conviction, that i did not vote for him. but the majority of my peers, apparently did.

no comment beyond that.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Sarah! We are happy! Happy happy happy! What's not to like? Why didn't you Opt for Obama? I can't begin to imagine the alternative! And I speak as someone who loved Mr Clinton with a passion that passed all understanding. I totally would've. I have shares in Sketchley's. Carbontetrachloride is my stain eraser of choice.

Sarah said...

Mrs. P. i cannot vote for someone i don't believe in. it's more than "just picking the lesser than two evils" for me. if i don't have a candidate, i believe in, i won't vote.

i still (DON'T) believe.

Dr Maroon said...

Ah Clarissa, carbon-tet. God, remember those days? What a high! But Kerrisst! What a hangover. Our lab at school could never keep it, that or chloroform. I shit you not. Chloroform. We used it in titrations. Can you imagine that now?

Dr Maroon said...

I thought he was cool, Sarah? Have we missed something over here? Perhaps I'm too old and square now to get it. They're certainly looking younger. He looks pretty cool, in a swotty* sort of way.



*Swots are what we call the kids in school who studied and applied themselves and became president and so on...

Mrs Pouncer said...

Yes, I can imagine it, Maroon. Your school seems rather progressive. It is perfectly satisfactory to titrate surfactants without chloroform, so I can't imagine what your chemistry teacher thought he was doing. I can only suppose that he had a habit.*

Sarah, everyone is looking younger these days. When I read Mr Obama's d.o.b. I nearly swooned. Even dogs are looking younger, in my view.


*Maroon, you may follow up with a jokey reference to Jesuit school here; or Christian Brothers or summat.

Sarah said...

youth has nothing to do with my reasons. neither does race or religion. i don't agree with the guy's politics.

simple.

he could be the nicest guy on earth. whatever, i still don't agree with him. i'm not saying i wouldn't drink a beer with him at a BBQ.

scarlet-blue said...

You left your pyjama bottoms at mine, Dr Maroon - thought I'd better return them, but I'm keeping your Pink Panther T-shirt.
G'night.
Sx
P.S G'night Mrs P, don't forget to put your clocks forward.

No Good Boyo said...

Bongo: much better than David Nixon ever was. His brother isn't making a bad fist of being President of Gabon, either.

You could syndicate this pithy news service of yours, Maroon. I've been out of the info-loop for a week and found out more from your gnarled palmful of events than from the BBC web site. And you spell better.

Dr Maroon said...

Boyo, you slate hearted Barry John of a Welsh Wizard. Notice it's never Welsh Hero? Alliteration is all. Anyway, I've left a more apposite comment at NGB, but well done you big Welshman you. Yes well done indeed to you both.

Has CTR been put on a list at Caversham? Do I get a slice of the action? It would save money in the long run. Just a thought.


They ain't mine Scarls. Waitaminnit. What colous are they? Blue? Fuck, give us them here and we'll say no more about it. Have a snifter befor you go. MM all right?
Ax

Sarah, I wouldn't say but you are right! I wouldn't drink with him eaither. Don't care what people say. He's shifty. He's going to drag us deeper in against the muslims and the fatwas will start again.

Dr Maroon said...

Sorry Boyo, couldn't resist the spelling. Aren't I a swine? Well I am actually, thinking about it. A top notch Pig.

Dr Maroon said...

Clarissa darling, you have tied off all the Jesuit quips just as they fluttered into target, and I have no ides what Scarlet Blue is talking about. She drinks.
Sit over here with me and we shall drink good fortune to Boyo's family. Here,let me fill you up. Mmmm, that's better.

No Good Boyo said...

If Mrs Boyo and I have done nothing else, we have at least given good people another reason to get hammered. L'chaim!

Dr Maroon said...

You're right Boyo! Young kids are a handful but they're ropin' good fun.

Mazel Tov

Mrs Pouncer said...

Shep naches, Boyo. L'chaim.

Maroon, I have been onto Day Old News and cancelled your subscription. I've told them you're going with Behind The Times from now on.....where have you been? Not trying to get that ludicrous business venture off the ground, I hope. It is absolutely shanda fur die goyim, and literally not kosher. What are you thinking? Do you have any experience with shellfish?

Dr Maroon said...

It's not Kosher I'll warrant, but how hard can it be to run a whelk stall? The are very active butso long as I feed and water them,I see no problem.
Very good for zinc I believe.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Look Maroon, to celebrate our birthday month, I have changed my avatar for one week only. I have promised the other half of my face for the May Bank Holiday, my feet in June and an enthralling up-shot to mark Ascension Day. Hope you're suitably moved. Leave an outrageous compliment when you get home.

scarlet-blue said...

Dr Marron, sorry Maroon... Mrs P has asked for you to come over to mine to listen to my recods.. sorry records.
I'm having a problem with my Rrss.
Sx

Kevin Musgrove said...

You mean they don't use chloroform in chemistry classes any more? How do they prep the students for the sodium fusion test nowadays then?

Dr Maroon said...

Oh Clarissa. Beautiful as ever. Now everyone knows what wonderful witchy eyes you have. I am spellbound, but you knew that.

A x

Dr Maroon said...

Kevin, we used it in perchloroethylene titrations. Cannot remember why now. If it was a solvent or indicator or what it was.

Scarlet I'm on me way.
Ax.