That pure Cane Spirit since 1848.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009




Muslims, ain’t they mental? Of course they are. Our boys fight for their rights and get an ear bashing on their return to barracks. We’ve given them Moslems the right to protest and the bastards have taken it. There’s gratitude for you. Manners maketh the man. They are so graceless. Luton's full of them, jumping about in inappropriate clothes, baggy pyjamas and so forth.



Go and try it in any Moslem country, Ali, and just see how far you get. In fact, just piss off out of it and take your bonkers medieval Caliphate shit with you. We’re tired of you all, you are turning into royal pains in the arse so just clear off to some wonderful muslem country. Oops there aren’t any.



And what about the Irish? They phone up the police because their window has been put in and when they arrive to help, they get shot for their trouble. That’s not War in any man’s language, that’s murder. You don’t shoot people who are trying against the odds, to help. Gits.

77 comments:

I_heart_Druses said...

You fuckwit Maroon you do'nt know anythig about nothig. You zionist hoodlum shit. Why don you go back to Eilat with all the other nonces and theyre slapers. Mrs Poincer will be mugging off next I bet.

Mrs Pouncer said...

A perfectly shimmering morning in the beautiful Thames Valley has been ruined by the sort of loose talk that I last heard at the Negev Memorial. Maroon is being provocative because of some niggling family matter, and I Heart Druses has, once again, belaboured us with his ill-spelt outpourings. Cease and desist, I say! As Ezekiel had it: Then I was captured at Tel-A-Bib and remained there amongst them and astonished for seven days (Chap. 3 v 15).

Renee & Morris Schwarze said...

Is it just me or is Rabbi Glueck getting younger?

RENEE AND MORRIS SCHWARZE said...

That's not our name! It's Renee AND Morris Schwarze.

Radio Reshet Gimmel said...

Dr Maroon, we would like to invite you to address the young people who listen to our broadcasts and who have recently complained of the stodginess of the fare. In particular, we would be interested in performance of your repetoire of comic songs, such as Workin' My Passage to Port Said and Nasser in My Pocket. Please respond soonest.

PI said...

To quote George in 'Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?'
'Who are these people?' Trolls?

Kim Ayres said...

Ack, you've lost me completely. Usually I keep up with your humour - but I have to confess... no I won't bother, I'm not a Catholic.

And are all these odd coments coming from you, Dr Maroon, in some kind of mid-life identity crisis?

Conan Drumm said...

Irish?

You should use a smaller brush to apply your tar.

WTF said...

Maroon you is bonkers, so why you wanna share it widder world? I tink Mr Pouncer is trollerman.

Eryl Shields said...

There, there Doc, take a pill and lie down in a darkened room and I'll make you a bacon sandwich.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Where have you been, Kim? Messageboarding is de rigueur now, you know, and Maroon is extremely fortunate to have attracted some of the best in the business. Admittedly, Rot_in_Hell_Myra and FamilyMan haven't come through, but I would pay good money to see Salt o'the Earth on my humble page. Who knows; Justice 4 Anne Darwin might turn up at yours. Be lucky.

I_heart_Druses said...

Mrs Poncert is the Whore of Babbylong but she is right when she say that we are the best messageboarders in the East Midlands. I will come over to you Mrs Kim Aires and arst where you got that face from.

RENEE AND MORRIS SCHWARZE said...

We are sickened at the sight of trayf being offered on this page. If Mr Shields don't eat kosher, so be it, but he should not be wafting griddles of Danepak around as if he's Gordon Ramsally. Hope you've got something to say about this, Dr Maroon.
Is it just us, or are pigs getting younger?

Salt o'the Earth said...

That's rich coming from Kim Ayres I must say becase I have read him on several messageboards in perticular about Scary Spice's implants and the other one about people who hate manilla ennvelopes so who is he kidding?
God bless Pam Ayres and everyone else from the Vale of the White Horse.

Mrs Pouncer said...

You see, Kim? You toss a pebble into a puddle, and the ripples ... errm ..... well, anyway. These zealots will probably badger you for days now. Best to ignore.

Kim Ayres said...

I'm game for a well crafted insult, but really, Mrs Kim Aires? Pam Ayres? I got these levels of insults when I was in infant school.

It's the banality I find depressing. Where's the wit these days?

I know exactly how poor old Cyrano de Bergerac felt when the best someone could come up with was "big nose"

inkspot said...

One of your less subtle wind-ups, Maroon. But, it seems, successful.

Manilla ice cream is my favourite.

Mrs Pouncer said...

I couldn't agree with Kim Ayres more, Maroon. Very poor; very poor indeed. And you seem to have really pissed him off, too. Apologise. Apologise in front of all these good people.

(Oh and Inky, come and see me).

CHICKEN_SHI'ITE said...

Well said Maroon, and someone had to put these Sunnis in their place.
Justice for Tariq Aziz!!

Dr Maroon said...

Sorry Kim, oh and Inky, not so fast. Where do you think you're going?

Spanker said...

They cheared our boys to the echo at the parade in "Watford today which is my manor. So the bulldog breed is alive and well there praise be to God on High. Have you accepted Jesus as your personal saviour Dr Marone? God bless Adrian Chiles and all other flat-faced West Brom supporters.

savannah said...

so it isn't me then, sugar? no one else understands either, i see. all's well then. i was worried. xoxo

mapstew said...

The irish? The whole race? Yeah we're all a mad shower of mad killers. What the fuck?

Bock the Robber said...

The Irish? Does that include me?

The Hangar Queen said...

My,my.We are using broad strokes today aren't we?

It's also precisely the kind of sentiment those murdering bastards in N.I. are trying to stir up.

Poor show old chap.I'll be joining my Irish homies at 'our' end of the bar.Feel free to join us once you get it out of your system.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Oh Maroon! What have you done? See how you have alienated all these good people? Once again, you stand alone, undefended, ill-favoured, pitted against the very souls who could fete and lionise you!

There is a popular television programme on the BBC called A Long Line Of Pricks. It is very good. The conceit is this: a famous person - a boy chef, say, or a woman with big tits - appears with a dogeared family tree. A man with a bad shave goes to the National Records Office and comes back with some birth certificates. Then he says, guess what? You are descended from Stradivari, Geoff Capes and Q. Metellus Tribune of the People on your father's side, and a moron and a whore on your mother's side. And the celebrity bursts into tears and says Does that mean I'm not from Dunstable? And then the old mum appears with a mysterious locked chest covered in dust which is jemmied and found to contain a Bradex first aid kit and a signed photograph of Mabel Constanduros. More tears. Music. Credits.

What I'm saying is this: who are you? For all you know you may be closely related to a florist from Homefarm Road, Drumcondra, and then how would you feel? Very silly indeed, I shouldn't wonder. See me, I have a direct blood line to a confectioner of Hvar Saba and a florist from Homefarm Road, Drumcondra. I do not complain, for it gives me the common touch and makes me popular with all-comers.

God bless Jacob Javits and all the homies from Bet Shemesh.

dissident-republikan said...

Mrs Pouncer I am at your feet.

Dr Maroon said...

A lesson in alienation.

When I was terribly young, our behavioural science tutor came into the room unprepared so he started a riot for the hell of it. He opened up with something like "The Scotch drink too much"
Now, at that time, as probably still, we Scotch were overrepresented at Trinity and a healthy discussion ensued. The Scottish students (not me) were incensed at being called "Scotch" not the fact that we (as a population) drank too much, (the stats bear it out).

Mapstew, I cannot subscribe to the view that the Irish are a Race or a People with identifiable individual traits. They are simply a population like any other.

Bock I thought you were Portuguese. You write like a Portuguese.

Hanger Queen I don’t believe in borders or restricting the movement of individuals*. I’d hoped that European integration would go some way to this; absorbing NI and the Basque region, and so on into a greater entity. How naive am I?

*Obviously if one is “white” and has a few bob, ie, not destitute, then the world is fairly open to you, as you yourself have discovered. It’s not the same for everyone else on the planet.

Dr Maroon said...

Oh Buggeration Clarissa!
We crossed while I composed my reply.
I should have waited. You, as always have put it so much better.

Justice4Milosovic said...

Adrian Chiles is a flatfaced Croat nonce.

mapstew said...

Dr.M; 'population' then, the whole population of Ireland and all the Irish people abroad. My point is still the same.

Jim Kalotus said...

This post has nothing to do with Muslims or the Irish. (They're so vain...I bet they think this song is about them.) Can't you all see that Dr Maroon has gone potty? As usual, people only think about their own petty grievances.

Conan Drumm said...

You posted: "And what about the Irish? They phone up the police because their window has been put in and when they arrive to help, they get shot for their trouble. That’s not War in any man’s language, that’s murder. You don’t shoot people who are trying against the odds, to help. Gits."

You responded to a comment: "I cannot subscribe to the view that the Irish are a Race or a People with identifiable individual traits. They are simply a population like any other."

As I said above - You should use a smaller brush to apply your tar.

I think you owe us "Irish" "gits" an apology.

Anonymous said...

"The Irish? Does that include me?"

Of course it includes you, you Fenian cunt. Who do you think he meant, the Kalahari bushmen?

Bock the Robber said...

I can hear the soft rustle of masks slipping.

Mrs Pouncer said...

BRINGING THE BALL DOWN
Whenever circumstances permit, the ball ought to be brought to the ground and, in this, the judgement of its flight is important. One often sees players move forward and use their heads, when they should have taken a step or two back and allowed the ball to fall on their chests. In this way, they not only take the pace off it, but ensure its dropping to the ground at their feet. It is then immediately under control and ready for effective use. If time permits, it is always better to bring the ball down instead of heading it.

My dear old father wrote these words in 1948. How much we can all learn from Association Football, to be sure.

inkspot said...

This wind-up of Maroon's concerning the absurdity of concepts such as "Irishness" is much cleverer than I had realized. To drive it home, if he's going to apologize to the Irish, then I'm going to be Irish for as long as it takes me to claim my apology, and for anyone to deny my Irishness is as ridiculous as my claiming it. Oh, and if a concept is absurd, then it doesn't exist.

Sorry to have been so slow in picking this up.

Sarah said...

Mrs. Pouncer, comments such as these are best ignored. they do eventually get bored after they are ignored (for a length of time) and bugger off.

Maroon, this post? really?

Mrs Pouncer said...

The trouble is, Sarah, I detect a woman's hand behind some of these degraded comments. And those of the previous post where, frankly, the text was nothing less than puerile. It worries me; truly it does. It means that Maroon is keeping company with a harpy of low tastes, and a rowdy, babyish streak. I pray that it is no-one we know masquerading behind these ludicrous aliases.

Dr Maroon said...

Oh dear. Friends all. I have returned hotfoot from a v important dinner to sort everything out. I even had to leave before my pudding, a personal favourite; posset or "warm lady with vanilla custard" as we called it at school. (jesuit school, if it may please the court)

Bock the Robber said...

Great to see that you're back. Can you just clarify what sort of murdering Irish git I am?

Dr Maroon said...

Now then, let me get my sleeves rolled up.

Bushmen. The San people of south west Africa are the finest imaginable. I have met one. He looked 100 but was less than 30. He was covered head to foot in dust, wore only a rudimentary loincloth affair and smelled. What did he smell like? It was the strangest smell. It was not acrid, it was soporific, comforting. Although I had never smelled it before (or since), it was evocative of something very powerful. It smelled of mankind. Us. Us stretching back to God knows when. He had come to the roadside to take his leave of a health visitor, he didn't like the look of me one bit. I was giving the health visitor a lift to Tsumeb. A quick wave and he was off into the grass and dust. We watched him go for ages as if he were a relative flying off in a plane somewhere. It was most moving.

Dr Maroon said...

Yeah, I'm getting to that, Bock. Phew, let me catch my breath.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Edifying.
More.

Dr Maroon said...

Waitaminnit! Before I begin,
how come Hanger Queen (American/Irish)gets away with calling people who live in NI as "those murdering bastards"?

Anyway, I digress. Can a Chinaman be Irish? Answer me that and I'll explain my choice of words.

Bock the Robber said...

Hangar Queen didn't refer to the people who live in NI as murdering bastards. She referred to murdering bastards who live in NI.

Two different things.

Dr Maroon said...

Time's up. Yes of course he can. We have herds of them and they're as Scottish as the bonny purple heather.

And another thing, I don't see many Muslims complaining, and I did pictures of them. Still, that's the Irish for you. I should know, I've 3/8 Irishness in me though my mother kept it quiet for the look of the thing. I'm getting there, honestly.

Dr Maroon said...

Well, I suppose it depends how you read it Bock. It depends on intonation. Reading between the lines, I think we both know what she meant.

Bock the Robber said...

I have no idea what she meant. I'm only quoting what she said.

Mrs Pouncer said...

It all depends which sort of Irish/American she is. I mean, are we talking Michael Flatley Irish/American - or even Michael O'Flatley Irish/American? I have some experience of this. As the only Jew in a Catholic convent school 1970s I was interested in the hysterical patriotism shown by some visitors. We received regular and unwelcome calls from a Monseignor from Chicago - personal friend of Cardinal Stritch, the works - who, although to our ears speaking in an unrelenting chawbacon accent, claimed Cork as his home! To me, the whole thing was beyond reason. He patronised me in an unforgivable fashion and ate jugged hare at MY TABLE, paying no heed to kosher sensibilities.

Dr Maroon said...

Allow me some pedantry. Who did I call a murdering git? Let me just check. Oh yes, nobody. I called the act murder and the perpetrators gits. And was it the Irish who phoned up the police because of vandalism then shot them when they arrived? or was it “those murdering bastards in N.I.”

Bock the Robber said...

Forgive me.

I must have misunderstood this:

And what about the Irish? They phone up the police because their window has been put in and when they arrive to help, they get shot for their trouble.

Clearly that must have referred to some other Irish, and not to me.

Thanks for the clarification.

Dr Maroon said...

Jugged hare is an abomination.
Did you ever have lady pudding with peppermint cordial?

Dr Maroon said...

Christ sorry Bock, we crossed.

What dire offence from amorous causes springs,
What mighty contests rise from trivial things

Bock the Robber said...

I just want to find out if I'm a murdering git.

Mrs Pouncer said...

No, Bock, you're not; you're completely adorable. Maroon is a curmudgeon who thinks he's funny. Sit there and eat my kneidlach, while Maroon fixes us two huge White Russians.

Bock the Robber said...

Thanks, Mrs Pouncer, and I appreciate your response, but with the greatest of respect, the question isn't addressed to you.

Dr Maroon said...

Of course you aren't Bock nor was the intention to imply that the Irish as a population are prone to acts of violence either.

Dr Maroon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bock the Robber said...

Well, thanks very much, but maybe I could suggest you have another look at the wording of this post.

Not good.

Dr Maroon said...

Oh give me peace for the love of Christ.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Fucking hell, Maroon. Bet you wish you had Claude Thirst at your side now.

Dr Maroon said...

everyone's a critic.
Half the blogs I read are shit but i don't go on about it. Fucking Hell.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Would it make you feel better if someone said the Scots were all cocksuckers - or words to that effect? I mean, would it redress the balance?

Bock the Robber said...

Give me peace, you say? Well, you see, peace is exactly what we in Ireland have been looking for as long as we've been alive.

Most of us.

In fact it's what we all voted for, apart from the very small number of killers who don't represent us.

All of us, apart from 100 nutcases.

All Irish people.

What about a post condemning lunatic killers instead of a post smearing an entire nation?

Dr Maroon said...

Bock that's crap
If it was just a question of a hundred they'd have been rolled up by now. It's much more fragile.
As to smearing a nation, thats crap too and you know it, or maybe you don't in which case i recommend reading this fine blog on a regular basis until you get a feel for the place.

Bock the Robber said...

It's about 100 people. Maybe 200, but in comparison to 4 million, still miniscule.

On the other issue, and I'm sorry for quoting you a second time

And what about the Irish? They phone up the police because their window has been put in and when they arrive to help, they get shot for their trouble.

The Irish.

Not some Irish people

The Irish.

That's me, and my children, and my friends and my family, not a single one of whom has ever been involved in a moment's violence.

You can see why I might be a small bit upset, can't you?

Dr Maroon said...

some instead of the?

Bock the Robber said...

That's as far as I can help you to figure it out. Sorry.

The Hangar Queen said...

Wiggle all you want Doc. If you read between the lines you'll see precisely nothing.What I had to say was said.

By "Chinaman" do you mean a citizen of the P.R.C.? Would they have to be Han,Tibetan,Uighur or Kazakh? Or do all East Asians fall into that category?

Not that it matters.Any of them can become Irish and be given your 'git' label.

PI said...

Two words folks: comment approval.
I love Mrs P's description of dropping the ball - poetry in motion. Ah Finney where are you now?

Jimmy Bastard said...

"Would it make you feel better if someone said the Scots were all cocksuckers"

No.. because then I would be up and banging the drum.. amongst other things.

Dr Maroon said...

dropping the ball

Mrs Pouncer said...

Yes, but Jimmy, it was ME who said it.
Now reconsider.
Don't you like the thought of ME (Mrs Clarissa Pouncer, well preserved, frankly outlandish lingerie, sorta breathless demeanour, knowing smirk) and the word "Cocksucker". Just think about it for a minute. You can find me at the Scotia Bar, Stockwell Street.

Jimmy Bastard said...

The Scotia Bar being one of the favourite hangoots for writers, musicians, and thespians alike. Not to mention being smack bang in the middle of Glesga's catlick quarter.

It might not be the ideal location to be this Sunday, with an estimate 90,000 Celtic fans celebrating yet another famous victory over the hun.

Especially if you're an attractive English lady with outlandish undercrackers on show.

Dr Maroon said...

Clarissa darling, a word.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Sorry, Jimmy, pissed.

And no more words from you, Maroon, I beg. See what you did to the Irish?