That pure Cane Spirit since 1848.

Friday, April 03, 2009



U StInK
See? There it is again. It’ll put the customers off. The whelks are arranging themselves into disparaging personal attacks. I'm sure of it. The Tortoiseshells are the worst. Troublemakers to a man. The Blue Rounds are little angels by comparison, though I did turn around suddenly to see their tiny feelers out at each other behind my back. Bit rude. The worst are the adolescents,
U R UGLY.
It’s always out the corner of my eye. By the time I check positively they subtly change their position to a random array. A bit too random I think, but that’s the curse of mathematics. I took some of them down to the river today. A treat. You know, let them stretch their foot. I’m not sure they all came back.

PINOCCHIO

Buggers, did you see that? Yes the adolescents. Clever you see and greased bloody lightning. What a handful. The customers are a rum lot too. I'm fussy you see and I’m not sure people realise the responsibility they are taking on with whelks. I had one ask me for a pin. A pin. He wanted to "winkle" them out their shells. What an utter bastard. I could have struck him. Another asked where the salt and vinegar was. He was an utter as well. I had no idea such cruelty existed. Christ did you see where the tortoiseshells went? Mind where you’re standing will you? There they are - look, halfway down the street. What did I tell you? Greased bloody lightning.


10 comments:

scarlet-blue said...

Has Mr Inky been saintified?
Sx

Dr Maroon said...

Har har. You in on a friday night too?
Want a rum? It's all that's left. Here, a Cuba libre, down the hatch.
Oof! God that's good.
Ax.

scarlet-blue said...

I'm sipping Whisky and Milk. And I'm going to have a Silk Cut.
Cheers!
Sx

PI said...

Time for my 4 squares of dark chocolate - the latest has a pleasant gritty texture.
I could murder some Hastings' shrimps.

Dr Maroon said...

That's exactly what it is Pat...MURDER.
Shrimps make playful pets and you want to eat them. A man as would boil a shrimp would shave a cat.
Chocolate should be your staple. It is most agreeable for women.

Sarah said...

my sister had a goat named Vidallia. i called her Greased Lighning, because she always went through the fence. not my sister.. the goat.

savannah said...

seafood?

Dr Maroon said...

A goat called Villeda, Sarah? Did you use him to clean the windows? Bit Masonic, but live and let live i say. A goat may be coralled safely using willow hurdles.

Savannah, you have come back to us. An excellent decision. Here, drink this stimulant. They are seafood in the way a Korean calls his Fido "lunch". Most distasteful.

savannah said...

sugar, i never left! the unpleasantness at my place did leave me a bit shell-shocked and resulted in my not only removing myself from lists, but also removing my blogroll. anyway, that's over, i shall re-instate everything eventually...but i digress.

the MITM and i were talking, just the other day, in fact, about of all things, perwinkles and cockels! and wtf decided they were edible xoxo

Sarah said...

no.. vidallia... like the onion.

willow hurdles - goats would chew on.