Gunpowder, treason and plot !


NO RAIN! Cue the Dvorak! Cue the birds and Woodland Folk!

As I write my journal, morning Barney, (you bastard) I am surrounded by the clatter of full prep for this evenings Fire. It has reached a good size now and I will check it for any good items that might polish up prior to ignition ( T minus 8:10:15 and counting). If the weather holds I will set a picket of boy scouts to stop the local toughs from setting it off early. They will have my permission to use lethal force. I might let one of them borrow the 410. I say early but in any case, it will all be over by 19:30 in time for Inspector Morse or Ant and Dec’s Wankathon. This might be a good thing since it offers the possibility of après Fawkes tinctures in the front bar. Hurrah!
Oho! I heard crockery rattling significantly there which means I may be required soon to help with the vol-au-vents (the most impractical snack invented) and the more important arrangements. In an episode of total asshattery I bought some cracking looking rockets and mortars, which, according to the labels are dangerous and will “light up the sky”!! Magic.
I always buy the fireworks for St Andrews Night after bonfire night, you get all the best ones then and they’re usually much cheaper. Hey, I’m Scotch for Christ’s sake.
This year we have acquired some very flash disposable glasses and plates that can all be burnt ! I am very pleased with them and I wondered if they would survive the dishwasher for future events, but apparently I’m “not on”. I hate waste me.

Full roundup and updates tomorrow…where’s that clipboard?