That pure Cane Spirit since 1848.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

I am sure you know the story of Vedran Smajlović, the Cellist of Sarajevo, who played 22 consecutive days in Peter’s Square under the murderous Serbian mortars. I am equally sure, that few of you will have heard of “The Bagpiper Of Dundee” who yesterday played 20 consecutive minutes at the Nethergate under the glass canopy until he had made enough for a bottle of Emva and a Gregg’s macaroni pie.

As part of the ongoing international effort in the former Yugoslavia, Unicef has twinned Sarajevo with other European towns one of which is our own City of Discovery.
In the nature of these things, the twinning committee toured the devastation in an open-topped bus. The Mexican delegate was particularly moved. Shaking his head sadly, his eyes filling with furious tears; “Serbian bastards!” he swore, his arm sweeping to encompass the whole of the Lochee housing estate.

36 comments:

Mrs Pouncer said...

Well done, Maroon, you bookworm! I assume that you have decided on Steven Galloway's tome as this week's choice for our book group; but may I make a suggestion? Could some of the members read The Cellist, and the rest have a go with The Bagpiper of Dundee? The author is a local man and would be willing to come and share his motivation with us. Regrettably, others have jumped on the bandwagon. I saw a drearsome thing called The Xylophonist of Macclesfield in Waterstones this afternoon.

Dr Maroon said...

Those bloody aunts!
"The Cellist of Sarajevo" is a profoundly moving novel by Steven Galloway about what it means to be human in the face of atrocity.
Whereas "The Bagpiper of Dundee" by Noah Reid is an account of what it means to be moving in the face of human atrocity.

I would not advise any of us to "have a go" with the bagpiper of Dundee.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Saints preserve us! Noah Reid is, I believe, the younger brother of Neil Reid, whose appalling story can be read if you Wiki him. He has tried to bathe in his brother's reflected glory, and has penned an inferior tale: The Stylophone Player of Lytham St Annes (foreword by Rolf Harris, dedicated to the memory of Hughie Green).

Dr Maroon said...

They are everywhere. There is old Dan Sandvik, The Musical Sawyer of Keighley, West Yorks, who plays in the Arndale Centre to the irritation of all and Pauline Menuhin The Flautist of Middlesbrough Football Club.

God bless Mrs Slocum and her poor pussy.

British-national-Pride said...

fogotten alredy about Ed Suggers the Uke Player of Lymeswold have you Maron you aunt. He done when the saints go marching in all through Princess Diana funerel even when that shirrtlifter Elton John was on. Her majesty Queen Elizabeth said it made the day special.

God bless Mrs Slocommbe, Wendy Richard old Mr Grace and all the others what are dropping like fucking flies from that show.

MR UK UKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! said...

Thanking you for the name check Pridey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am still wowwing the crowdes with the uke and no mistake. I will be there for Mrs Slcombes funeral (AND HER PUSSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) playing Distant Drums by Jim Reebs and taking requests from the crowde.

Airwick_plug_in said...

People is very very easy pleased these days is all I can say if they think Ed Suggers is a patch on the late great the chairman of the board George Fordby the only uke player this great country has ever produced worthy of the name.

God bless Karl Malden dead and burried but not forgotten. He had a little arse on the end of his nose and they do not make them like that no more.

family man said...

Anyone comes near my girls with a little arse on the end of his nose I swear I'll do time, so help me.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Maroon, you do attract a questionable readership, I must say. Are these ingrates members of your book club? Have they read any of the set texts? I thought we were all tackling Galloway's book; Mr Suggers seems to have a head of steam behind him.

MR UK UKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! said...

Mrs Poncer is very la dee dah I must say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Yes I have wrote a book and it is published by Badcock & Stensch of Lowestoft at £4.25 + p&p. Here is a revue of it in last weeks Arts and Farces magazine:

"Mr Suggers has produced an unalloyed narrative of stark frenzy in the Lincolnshire Wolds. How he leans on his uke, like the brave hero on his sword, is unequalled since Balzac".

How many other new writters have been comparred to a premiership footballer then Mrs Poncer????????? My agent says I will be a milonaire by Halloween!!!!!

Mrs Pouncer said...

How vile. This rabble have turned your once-admired site into some species of underclass message-board. Do you know any of these people? Can we not return to the discussion of literature, which I thought was your thrust?

Pearly-KING said...

""Family man ""is right!! Michael Jackson IS another. Anyone "like that" comes round my family walking backwards and holdin himself, I'll bloody swing for him I will.

sharonne-1963 said...

Pearly-KING does not have much inteligense about illnesses. Alot of people who have been in acidents or frequenntly off their tits on cocaine end up with frontal brainal damage and offten walk backward holding theirselves. It is an offensive to the mental ill to say you would give them a slap. I have worked with mental cases in secure bins up and down East Anglia for 27 years and it is carring and compasion that works. My nan allways said spare the rod and now we see the result.

Quizmaster333 said...

Airwick, I think George played a banjo-lele not a uke.
Well he did on "Cleaning Windows" anyway.
Keep up the good work.

Undermedicated said...

Hiya Sharonne remeber me?? You was allways duty relief on Hindley Ward when I was banged up there in '97 for mine own protection. I remeber you done that sponsored handcuff thing to promote mental health in Norfolk when you was over 15 stone. Good news from me is I took up the harpsichord and am known far and wide as the High Dependency Harpsichordist of Hunstanton. My book is out next week (published by Badcock and Stensch of Lowestoft). It is called Strike A Chord (jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Pearly-KING said...

Point taken Sharonne. Fare doos. If your "saying" nut-cases are as bad as Jackson I will look out for them to!!. just coz thier mental dosnt' give them rights to fiddle with kiddy's. ;(
Its like Muray losing the tennis ""too-late mate""!!!:(

Airwick_plug_in said...

You fucking prick Quizmaster. Who arst you to come here +++++NO FRIEND OF YOURS IS NO FRIEND OF MINE+++++++ as Don Godfather Corleone said. So the late great Mr Fordby DID"NOT" play the UKE 'DID HE'? Let us put it to the vote of the late great British people. ******WE ARE THE PEOPLE OF ENGLAND AND WE HAVE'NT SPOKEN YET****************** as the late great Lord Oswald Mossley said at the Balcombe Street seige.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Maroon, can you please try and pull it back to the business in hand?

MR UK UKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! said...

As the actress said to the bishop Mrs Poncer!!!!!!!! Not that I am sugesting that Dr Maron is a """RELIGOUS GENTELMAN OF THE CLOTH"""""""""!!!!!!!!!
Where have all the naghty vicars gone these days anyway????' "All you Ever hear" is about naghty acountants, interor desiners and scubba divers!!!!!!

Bring back all the late great peedo vicars, scoutmassters, roman catholics and harpsichord tutors. """""LET US TURN BACK THE CLOCK OF TIME"""""

british-national-Pride said...

Amen to that, Ukey my old matey! "Things have changed" and NOT FOR THE BETTER. Time was you knew where you was but now it could be anyone ****Even a highly placed member of the Department of the Environgment*********** a popular ballroom dancer********** or TVs Mr Entertainnment. You never know who is what or where.

PIKEY_MIKEY said...

Hunstanton!!! ROFL!!

Eryl Shields said...

Hello Doc, are you well?

The Voice Of Reason said...

I had that Beelzebub in the back of me cab once. Lovely gent. Left me a tip and everythink. That's the sort what we shuld have in the House of Commons, not that Gordon Brown and His Band of Renown mob coz they were crap even back in the old days when they was on Hughie Green's New Faces. Bastards.

Sarah said...

i believe these (belligerent commenters) to be facets of Maroon's own personality.

God love him. he's shaky at best.

Kim Ayres said...

Back in the early 90s, I specifically remember the mandolin player of Dumfries once made almost enough to replace the string he broke while busking.

Kevin Musgrove said...

There's a half-hidden memory struggling to get out here... Didn't there use to be a fairly mediocre mandolin player who had a pitch just outside Marks & Sparks in Dundee? I can sort of picture it so it would have to be somewhere between 1988 and 1996.

Chris Wood said...

He's clearly an artist of great commitment and naturally expects to be reimbursed as such.

Gregg's isn't cheap, you know.

No Good Boyo said...

Wales is the only whole country to be twinned with another, none of this weedy "city" nonsense.

Ffact!

http://alfanalf.blogspot.com/2006/10/walesfact-no2-axis-of-headgear.html

Mrs Pouncer said...

Write something, you twankert. Where are you?

Dr Maroon said...

Here I am Clarissa.
I was talking to an old friend of mine on the telephone; Mike Sossidge, and yes, he is a biochemist.

Dr Maroon said...

Eryl, am I well?
In the pink love, in the pink.

Sarah if only they were facets of my personality. They are the silent red neck majority of this Great Nation (excluding Wales and NI) who talk honest sense. What you see is what you get (pregnant at 14) They fight in Iraq and Afghanistan for our freedoms... Land of Hope and Glory swells in background...)
I am reallyfucking shaky but I'm on the way back believe me.

Yeah Kim but that's because you were singing Jock O' Hazeldean, when you should have been doing George Formby's "Chinese Laundry" and other ukelele greats. Wise up man.

Hi George what d'yah drink? Let me see, bearded Manchester writer....of course! Whisky Mac. That is, whisky and Crabbie's green ginger. Get that down you, it'll keep out the nasty Mancunian rain that's always pissing down. Hey, don't argue, I had four days of it once. Anyway read your Sherlock Homes thing, you copycat bastard. Cheers.

Kev you sly aunt! What the blooming heck were you doing in Dundee?

Boyo you speak with forked tongue. Not only that; I don't believe a word of it.

savannah said...

interesting flamers, sugar. xoxox

Kevin Musgrove said...

I was trying to interest a company with the concept of Sammy and his Magic Ringworm

Scarlet-Blue said...

I'm learning to play the spoons. It's an art. I'm also learning card tricks. I'm trying to incorporate both these new skills into one act. And then I'm going busking. I will wear a corset. I think this will defy the credit crunch.
Sx

Sarah said...

Maroon - i'm chuffed to hear it. let me know if you need anything.

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