Dateline Wednesday 4 June 2008 20 59 BST

Man: Deep breath, I’ve had a glass of cider and a weak doobie (on a school night!) and I’ve decided to

Woman: What are you doing?

Man: Writing my blog

Woman: Oh Jesus, here we go – you you you ! Nobody wants to hear your self obsessed drivel, wise up ferchrisssakes!

Man: Just background material, my friends may want to know what I’ve

Woman: Friends? Friends? They’re names on a screen, penpals

Man: to you perhaps. To me however, they are as valuable, perhaps more so, than my associates in the corporeal world

Woman: therein lies your problem

Man: Look give me some peace. I don’t bother you when you’re doing the laundry

Woman: we agreed you would not bring the internet back into this house

Man: we had a set-to, hardly an agreement, besides “this house” as you put it needs to be connected

Woman: yeah, to the fucking social work department

Man: Anyway, I met Ayres in real life

Woman: you said he was odd

Man: I never!

Woman: You said he looked at you funny

Man: He did as well. He definitely doesn’t believe I’m a doctor

Woman: I don’t believe you’re a fucking doctor any more either

Man: Right, anyway, thanks for the pep talk darling, I’ll mention you to all my friends around the world

Woman: Fuck!