FIRST INTERMISSION
Please return to your seats by the second bell. (no third bell)

A chance to stretch your legs, have a smoke, drink that pre ordered fizz, have that dump that’s been nagging at you, and in the red plush, listen to the crowd as we mingle…

“…What d’ya think?”
“I liked the fog.”
“It was too much for me. Lots of dry ice, it’s so passé.”
“Stop being such a pompous prick.”
“Jesus, you asked my opinion.”
“No, you asked mine, but gave me yours, as usual…”


“…It’s a big cast.”
“Not half, according to the programme they’re not all on yet.”
“Did you get a programme?”
“Two! We each bought one by mistake. Twelve quid! Dick Turpin wore a fuckin mask. On your own?”
“No she’s over there trying to wheedle another couple of miniatures out the sponsors…”


“…It’s a nice theatre.”
“Yeah they’ve done it up well”
“Lottery money.”
“Well better that, than wasting it on the homeless. Did you see them on the way in? Filthy beggars sleeping rough on the steps?”
“That was women queuing for Daniel O’Donnell tickets*. They’re on sale on Monday Did you not see the thermos flasks and tartan rugs and stuff?”
“For the love of Christ!…”

rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

“…We’re away in, don’t be long you two.”
“Aye OK”
“What you reckon Bobby?”
“It’s fucking torture.”
“I know. One for the road?”
“Aye”
“Nice jacket by the way. Lager?”
“Aye…”

* True