That pure Cane Spirit since 1848.

Monday, May 25, 2009

The worst of watching a parent age and die is the conversation. We long for the meaningful conversation that we despised when we were young. Overnight our parents become inane. What’s more, they revel in it. They punish us. When we were younger we begged them to talk like other kid’s parents especially when our friends (those other kids) were round for a snog and the burning of joss sticks.

Fucking hell mum don’t make a dissertation out of it. This isn’t a question of politics or human morals, noble spirit, deferred gratification; we got drunk on cider and the girls put make up on us like David Bowie, move on for fuck’s sake, and write me a note for school. (no fucking way).

Now we wish they would return to their rigour and shut the fuck up about just how terribly nosey is Mrs Wickes in number 11 (I think she is lonely) or the total, total, lack of urbanity in restaurants or in Boots the chemist, or with tradesmen looking at the ceiling.

Fucking hell, how do they manage to shed a lifetime of propriety, etiquette (which they imprinted on US by the way- ie never make anyone uncomfortable by your presence or speech or table manners) so easily? Piff paff poff and it’s like it never happened. After seventy something, they don’t give a flying fuck.


48 comments:

Mrs Pouncer said...

Maroon, I am home from Antigua, and may I say that the Thames Valley has never looked lovelier? Le soleil brille! Une table, s'il vous plait! Je prends le menu, et pour boire? Erm .... Alors, un picon biere, je crois. Et apres? Un suze*, svp.

Still drinking alone. Not letting the side down.



(*this is fermented gentian, and an acquired taste).

inkspot said...

But at least some of your mother's habits are changing. It's worse watching someone's habits take over their personality; my own mother's snobbery has become too unfunny to describe, even anonymously.

PI said...

Be patient and give her lots of hugs.
You have to make your own fun over a certain age - I'm not yet 80 but I intend to have a ball when I am and if it perplexes the kids - bring it on.
Added to which one's alcoholic intake is perforce - especially if you are on medication - much reduced. I'm not - praise be - but I rarely have more than one glass per day. Well fairly rarely.
Oooh goody the sun is over the yard arm:) Your bonny wee health!

savannah said...

yes, sugar, i have to agree with y'all. *sigh* but, lookitheah we will all be there eventually, here's to old gals & guys! let's get drunk! xoxoxo

savannah said...

by the by, darlin, i'm following again...

Achilles said...

Clarissa, wonderful to have you home again in England. Dry as a camel's ear here. Parched. Hoping this finds you as it left me; in the pink.

Ax.

Achilles said...

Inkspot snobbery is fine, and as you say, funny, but only in non relatives.

Pat, we're west coast Scotch, if we suddenly became tactile, she'd flip. Here waitaminnit, that's a bloody good idea. I'll give her a hug and we can get her certified.

Savannah, now you're talking. Let's get drunk. And following again are we? You just can't help it can you? Well I for one am delighted.

Kim Ayres said...

When they imprint on us, they leave it behind - it's not a copy, it's a handing over.

Bedpan said...

After seventy something, they don’t give a flying fuck. And neither should you, Maroon. And neither should you.

Mrs Pouncer said...

He doesn't.

( Off topic: Maroon, will you pur-lease tell me how I can have a Cluster Map, too? I really, really want one now. I know it's vulgar but I ache for one, truly I do. Or a Sitemeter. Anything, really. Talk me thwoo it).

Mrs Pouncer said...

Changed my mind. You have advertisements on your map, and it's currently showing I Cured My Candida: How to Eliminate Yeast Infections in 12 Hours: We Tell You How!
This isn't your regular sorta shtik.

Dr Maroon said...

Kim I am sure you are right. You usually are.

Ah Bedpan, of course you are right it is just that it is so difficult not to give a damn when you know them but you're right. What'll you have for a reviver? What about a Bells and Green Ginger? I call it the green lantern after the American comic book hero. Down the hatch!

Dr Maroon said...

Clarissa I will talk you thwoo it. Pwomice. Ignore ythe advertisements, everyone else does.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Listening to The Supremes. Whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh Baby love etc. Sorry. Pissed. Back in blighty.

Dr Maroon said...

The supremes eh? I'm stone cold sober, it's a bit Mother Hubbard round here. Didn't make the drinks run tonite. dyk I am an Emperor? Of course you did.

Mrs Pouncer said...

I took the test, too. I am the Tower, but I don't know how to link it. It is all too vexing for words. And your yeast infection has gone. How did that happen? I want a map and a tarot reading. How do you do these things? Tell me.

Dr Maroon said...

Um I thought you said you wouldn't mention my infection. It was cheap carbs that did it.

Dr Maroon said...

sorry i was away for a cuppa. Mustapha Cuppa. You can't say that here.

Dr Maroon said...

Right I will tell you the secret. you copy and paste the code they give you, then go to your dashboard and click "add gadget" then click the java device button I think it is the second one down or third. then paste, then view blog.

Mrs Pouncer said...

What does copy and paste mean? What code? Which buttons do I press? I am very angry with you. You don't make things plain.

Scarlet?

Dr Maroon said...

right i've got it now.
1 take the tarot test
2 copy the code they give you
3 click customise at the top of a blog page
4 click the add gadget button on right
5 paste in code
6 add a title if you want in the box provided
7 click save
8 view blog.

Mrs Pouncer said...

Kinell, Maroon! Sorry - it's 2.00 am for you, and it says it's going to be 94 degrees by noon tomo! Shouldn't you be under a punkah wallah by now? Is it truly hateful there? Marmite? Trifle? Elastoplast?

Mrs Pouncer said...

How does one copy the code? What do you mean by copy?

Dr Maroon said...

Oh fuck, after you press add gadget, you'll get a list of buttons, press the second one, the java one.

Dr Maroon said...

on your mouse there are two buttons. when you right click, ie press the right button you will see a list of options,. one of them will be copy. select that on and everything you have highlighted will be copied. when you want to paste you right click again and select paste. hey presto the text will be pasted onto the screen.

Mrs Pouncer said...

OK, Christ, don't get tetchy with me, you git. Shit, think of all the beans I could spill.

Dr Maroon said...

sorry we crossed . by oh fuck i meant oh fuck i meant to mention the second list. not oh fuck intolerantly.

Dr Maroon said...

You are the funniest woman in the world. And fine well you know it.

Dr Maroon said...

Brown windsor soup is the worst, that and corned beef. It liquifies in the heat.

Mrs Pouncer said...

I did everything you said - or nearly everything - and it didn't work. I hate you. What about Cockaleekie?

Dr Maroon said...

If you want. I'm game.

Dr Maroon said...

Oh I've started a twitter account but I cannot get back to it. Hutton's done one so i thought i would.

Mrs Pouncer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mrs Pouncer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mrs Pouncer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scarlet-Blue said...

To copy, press control [Ctrl] C
To paste, press [Ctrl] V
Goodness me, I'm knackered.
Sx

Scarlet-Blue said...

But remember to highlight first.
Scroll over what you want to copy and hold the left clicky bit down as you do this [mouse or laptop].
Sx

Sarah said...

should they give a flying fuck @ after 70? i don't give a fuck now.. (well, you know what i mean)

i know you don't say this garbage to her, thank fuck. just get it all out here Maroon, we'll listen. (read)

PI said...

Bless you Mrs P! You do wonders for my self esteem. I'm talking about techie stuff.

Dr Maroon said...

You're such a luddite Clarissa. Leave the comments, always. It's the medium. Delete fuck all. Never. Too late we think of what we might have said.

Dr Maroon said...

Sarah you are right! You pass the mark, you win the watch you can relax and do what you want.
That only works if it is part of your make up. When it runs headlong into your philosophy it doesn't work at all.If everyone doesn't give a flying fuck and never did to begin with : what's the fucking problem? Where is the 15 year old putting up an information wall from Illustrated News during the War? with Hans Fetner, from the Free German League? where's the girl who dated the 40 year old Polish Captain of Millitary Police, fucking hell where's the twentyfive year old Socialist firebrand spreading sedition among the slums of Maryhill?




. thats the problem.Britain had spunk, backbone and phle

Mrs Pouncer said...

Oh Maroon! Hoorah! What are we drinking?

Sarah said...

i don't know about that advice Maroon, you've deleted comments.

Dr Maroon said...

Sarah, you're right!
May God forgive my duplicity.
God you are as well. Help. you are right. I take it back. I am an aunt.

Ax.

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