That pure Cane Spirit since 1848.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Byron or Arnold Bennett?

My glasses, that is, spectacles, are the best in the shop. They are called Byron. A more inferior model would be the Arnold Bennett, or even Milton.
D’ye see the pattern?

I intend to open my own marketing service giving everyday items more exciting names.
For example, the top of the range ice-making machine is not called the Viking 3000 or even the Frostmaster Delux, no it is called The Scotsman!

Who would have thought?

As a start, I am looking around, and I see my little computer speakers, I shall call them the Cicero. Big sub woofer would be…the Churchill?

I dunno, I’m losing it a bit. Help me out.

Dishtowels! The Yasser, or the Mother Theresa, or top of the range, um, the Molly!

What you reckon?

7 comments:

savannah said...

i reckon, you've either been out in the cold too long or haven't had enough protein, sugar! ;) xoxox

Kim Ayres said...

We all know the dog's bollocks are the best, so perhaps you need a range that includes the pig's bollocks, the hamster's bollocks and the elephant's bollocks.

scarlet-blue said...

The Aardvark of shovels?
Sx

Eryl Shields said...

The big sub woofer has to be Bush, surely. As for your t-towels, as such cloths are famous for harbouring germs, you could name them after diseases: Gonorrhea for example.

Sarah said...

i think you should incorporate the word labia somewhere.

Dr Maroon said...

Jesus! What's the matter with you all?
Bollocks, the clap and flaps?

Savannah honey there is money in this, I am sure of it. What I need is a few snappy names to get me started. The recession is on! :(

Kim, dog's bollocks have been much on my mind of late. My solipsism is raging.

It's been done Scarlet my lovely. If I could direct you to current Spear & Jackson catalogue page 20.
Ax

Well Eryl, having seen the way you store your coffee cups, which is a fucking disgrace actually, I am sure your tea towels are pristine. Still in the drawer no doubt. Are you a draining board girl? Tut tut. However, you have a point. Being Scotland, what about the Cdif, or Ecoli (with scene of Loch Lomaond) Let me run this up the flagpole.

Yeah Sarah, Labia. Um, bit stumped there, now you mention it.
Figs! Yeah might work. Not a big seller in Scotland, "Tuck into McLaren's figs, They're juicy, they're healthy, they're labial!"
(counts towards your five a day)

PI said...

Figs and labia = D.H Lawrence unless I misremember?