STRING EM UP!

House values collapsed last night as the warlords and traffickers of third world Balkan republic Zenda, taught England a lesson in football ineptitude.
In the most humiliating display of amateur ineptitude for a generation, the English national side slumped to its most inept defeat for a generation.

“We were rubbish. Totally hopeless.” was what England manager whasisname (53) might have said.
“We were utterly bereft of any cogent idea of how the modern game is played.”
Was another.

When told of the result, the latest in a string of inept defeats for the millionaire superstars, ashen faced prime minister Blair declared:

“If Zenda had any hope of joining the European Union, they can **** right off!

At least until they learn how to lose like honest Englishmen.”

In other news, a corrupt referee helped slimy cheats Ukraine, defeat plucky Scotland by the slenderest of 2 : 0 margins.

The Mail says: NO to Europe and that Irishman ‘Dr.’ Paisley.